“I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”

This is one interesting book that I’m reading now. Title is certainly attention-grabbing…to sum it up it’s a collection of “memoirs” if you will, written by a guy named Tucker Max about his years in law school and what not (maybe a few years before, after, I didn’t keep track)…most involve alcohol and sex. He has some crazy ass stories and a few shock and disgust me but for the most part, it’s funny, and reminds me of a few of my guy friends. The wackier ones. haha.

I don’t feel like sharing a Tucker Max-esque story of my own but for some reason I’ve been thinking about one particular incident that happened about 2-3 (I really can’t recall) years ago. Everytime I feel abandoned, betrayed, alone, disrespected, or humiliated…and oddly enough..when I catch a glimpse of a baseball game…my mind wanders back to this particular memory.

It was during the rocky period of me and Albert’s already fucked up relationship. It was the beginning of the semester, the weather was nice, and the Mets were playing @ Shea…we were also in great need of together time so he decided to take me to the game. All was going well (not really, the Mets were losing to the Marlins..I think? whatever) until my friend Alan texts me, asking if I wanted to join his little dinner get together courtesy of his AMEX rewards…I made a mention to Albert and for some reason he goes ballistic. I don’t remember what he said verbatim but it went along the lines of him accusing me of frequently meeting up with guys, giving me his disapproving “you’re such a whore” look while choking out some sarcastic fake chuckles. I told him that he KNEW Alan was just a friend, in fact it didn’t even matter that I was a girl and Alan was a guy, that’s how platonic the friendship was but alas, the asshole didn’t give up his controlling asshole stance. It made me so freakin mad yet I kept my composure and we stayed silent. It was nearing the end of the game and it was obvious that the Mets lost already, so being fed up with the tension, I got up and left to prevent myself from starting a fight right then and there. I walked to the parking lot where his car was and waited for him there.

You know what he does next? He unlocks his side only and gets in and speeds off. It all happened so fast I can barely remember punching the side of his car. I do remember standing in front of it and him still gassing it and tons of people witnessing the entire scene. I was beyond mortified. He called me and said I deserved it since I left him stranded (stranded?? wtf? you were in SHEA FUCKING STADIUM WITH THOUSANDS OF OTHER PEOPLE! AND YOU HAVE A CAR!) he was leaving me stranded. What kind of man leaves his girl alone in a parking lot? In that neighborhood (have you ever been to the old Shea at night? not pretty nor very safe)! I call him in tears, screaming, raging mad but also devastated that he would do such a thing to me. On top of that, my stuff was at his house and as much as I wanted to just call a cab service back to my off-campus house at the time..I was really concerned over what he would’ve done to my belongings. Then..I did the worst thing ever..I got on the 7 train, rode to Flushing and met him @ Main Street. If Present Me could talk to Shea Stadium Incident Me…I would’ve just smacked her across the face for being such a spineless, pathetic, shell of a girl. We made up, but only because he felt like he “won” (which essentially, he did by the looks of it).

I know if I was how I am now..his car would’ve been wrecked and I would’ve not given a shit about my stuff being @ his house and I sure as hell would not have met up with him in Flushing (without some kind of weapon to hurt him with anyway). I’m not sure if I told anyone this story..I would be surprised if I did because it’s just so humiliating and painful. I’m not even sure why I thought of it just now but I think something triggered it. I have the feeling that I’m being lied to and soon to be betrayed. Well..don’t I sound paranoid? All paranoia aside, I’m glad I finally got to talk/write/type about it. I thought I got over it, but you know what, I don’t think I ever really did..shit like that will stay with me forever and in some ways, I’m OK with that…it completely changed me.

Actually, Tucker Max did inspire this post somewhat..he’s a self-proclaimed asshole with total disregard to the law, social etiquette, and women. Reminds you of somebody?