Category Archives: things I don't like

YOU ARE A DIRTY HAMSTER!

ew, crumbies.

So right now I’m talking to my friend Ryan and we are talking about dirty roommates and it’s finally giving me something to blog about.

I’m not Mrs. Clean or anything but I have to say, my hygiene is up there (I wouldn’t be able to do what I do for a living if I was a slob) and I am a very courteous roommate and house guest. Can’t say that for everyone though but I’m not naming names. 1) To protect people’s low down dirty shame 2) Some of the examples I will name doesn’t necessarily apply to anyone I’ve personally lived with, just observations I’ve made when going to people’s homes or hearing about other friends’ nightmare living situations, and 3) Nobody can admit that they are the dirty roommate. Either they are in deep, dirty denial or they really don’t realize that they live in filth.

I don’t know how some people can leave all their belongings on the floor. I mean ALL OF IT. Like I would not know if you had carpet or hardwood floors because I am knee deep in your shit kind of mess. Like I told Ryan…leaving clothing on the floor is like squirting lotion on the floor and applying it on your body. OK so clothing isn’t the worse thing one can leave on the floor. Let’s say, bowls of food, or bowls with remnants of food. That’s not savory…what the fuck is a bowl of oddly colored milk (finished your Fruity Pebbles/Lucky Charms/Fruit Loops I see) doing on your fucking floor anyway? What is that growing out of your half eaten yogurt cup? Are those ants crawling on your semi-licked lollipop? How do you not have diarrhea or some kind of plague?

OK..I’m being too harsh. Whatever landfill you want to make out of your own room should not be any business of mine. What IS a business of mine would be common areas like the living room, kitchen/dining room, bathroom, and front entrance. The living room normally doesn’t get that messy from most living rooms I’ve seen so I’ll skip that for now. One of my biggest pet peeves is the smell of food when I’m no longer eating it. Ask my co-workers they call me Lysol lady for a reason. Why does it smell like food when I’m not eating? It’s not because somebody else is eating it. It’s because someone forgot to wash the dishes/pan/pot/spatula for the past week. Or maybe because the food is in the fridge, uncovered, and rotting away. Or, it’s in the trash, at the top, threatening to spill over but nobody is willing to take it the fuck out.

Speaking of the garbage, how hard is it to take the garbage out? Maybe if your garbage shoot was on the first floor and you live in a very inconvenient dangerous high rise then sure, you’d want to put that off. Or if you live acres away from your front door. This is NYC, there’s a garbage shoot on every floor and we have acres of nothing. Maybe you like maggots and raccoons but I’m not a big fan.

Oh yea, back to the common areas. I hate dirty bathrooms. You may think, “well nobody likes a dirty bathroom, Becky”. Well you thought wrong. Apparently some girls love dirty bathrooms because their bathrooms are constantly dirty. Take your fucking long hair out of the tub drain/sink/floor. Ew, speaking of the sink, one time I was visiting a friend in their dorm and the light was broken so I dropped something in the sink and when I reached for it, I felt something hard and small with something slimy on top. My first guess was a dried up contact and then a gooey booger being the slimy thing on top. What the fuck. Since this was a dorm, it could’ve been anyone of those dirty bitches. UGH my poor hand. OK back to what I was saying… wipe the toothpaste off the mirror, why are you standing thaaat close anyway? Don’t you know where your teeth are? And no, our shower curtains aren’t THAT frosted, that is fucking mildew, woman!

Well, as much as I dislike living at home sometimes, I do like the fact that at least my mother is a very, very clean person. She’s a neat freak actually and she drives me nuts with her constant nagging but at least that nagging taught me not to be a dirty hamster. (I love that line, sometimes Situation comes up with some funny one-liners…the season finale sucked btw). Not sure why it didn’t work on my brother, he’s kind of a dirty one too.

I may be messy at times, but my mess consists of random papers all over my desk or clothes on my bed. So there is a fine line between “messy” and “dirty” and many people trudge their mucky shoes all over that line. I hate clutter and I hate grime and I honestly don’t know how some people can stand it. I’m sorry if some things came out harsh and if you felt like it may have been about you, but I am not sorry for pointing it out. You should all be sorry for making clean, hygienic people live in your realm of uncleanliness.

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I Don’t Brush My Teeth With A Bottle Of Jack.

...but I do!

..and I don’t like drinking that shit either.
This post is inspired by Kam briefly calling me “RebecKe$ha”, KevJumba’s hilarious vlog/skit, and my drunken fiasco at Hiroagain.

I think I’ve been to Hiro about 5 times and out of those times, I’ve gotten severely drunk 3 of those times. And by “severely drunk” I mean puking my brains out and hungover until 7pm the next day. The last time I got drunk (Black Friday aka Becky’s BlackOut Friday), I lost about 6lbs in water weight overnight and somehow kept it off for 3 weeks without working out or watching my diet. Not the best diet out there, my friends.

This past Saturday was just as much a pukefest, but I wasn’t as “messy” seeing that I did not puke in anybody’s car and I do remember getting up calmly and walking/running to the bathroom. I had to force myself to throw up and that was not a lovely experience I’d like to relive. I remember sticking my fingers so deep into my throat that I felt my epiglottis, something I never had to do before. The culprit this time around? My low tolerance as usual, and vodka. I also (jokingly) blame Alan for his liquor pushing but all in all, I should’ve just known when to say no and run away.

I’m really upset at myself for getting drunk because I know I cannot drink, and not only that, I actually highly dislike the taste of alcohol, even mixed drinks so I have no idea why I oblige to such a shitty ritual such as binge drinking. Come to think of it, I didn’t even drink enough to have it considered “binge drinking” I just can’t handle my liquor! Not only did I get a killer hangover the next day and night, I couldn’t even muster up the energy to hang out with the lovely ladies that came up from DC/MD/VA. Alcohol, you ruin my life.

With that said, my brother was right…every time one gets shitfaced, they vow “never to drink again” but it happens just a few months later. I sincerely hope that I will never, ever get drunk again but that’s not a guarantee. I’m just glad my friends were gracious enough to deal with my drunkass and took wonderful care of me. 🙂

Oh, the irony..before the night officially stated, I even told Phobia that “I’m scared of going to Hiro because I always get crazy drunk there by accident”. Next time, I will just avoid Hiro and hopefully liquor altogether.

Avoid liquor? Near impossible. I was briefly talking to Lisa about this and the subject started to annoy me. Although I’m grateful for my fun crazy friends who know how to have a great time, sometimes I wish alcohol wasn’t such a huge part of the “great time”. Or at least nobody would notice that I like plain old water and then proceed to tease me about it. Yes, 25 and peer pressured? That sounds ridiculous, right? Not really..one just doesn’t want to be a buzzkill or rude by turning down a friend’s offer for a drink. But then in the end, I only have myself (my liver and my low tolerance) to blame.

Hopefully, the next time the “DMV” girls come to town, I’ll be sober enough to hang out with them the entire weekend. They are a fun bunch who can actually hold their own in drinking, unlike yours truly. However, I will wait until they come up again because I am honestly way too scared to sentence my liver to its premature death by going down to them because alcohol flows like water outside of NYC.

I’m not even looking forward to brunch cocktails anymore, just pass the Eggs Benedict and waffles, thank you.

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I think I had too much Haterade with dinner.

Actually, I had chrysanthemum tea, thanks for asking.

So Ruby and I go back and forth on the subject of our two most dangerous vices: online shopping and browsing for what restaurants/food places to try next. One is bad for the wallet, the other bad for the waistline..and also the wallet in some cases. I’m already getting off track. Back to the main point…as I look through clothes and munchies, I realize there are certain things within these two realms that I cannot stand: the overhyped, oversensationalized, overrated, overexposed elements of fashion and food culture.

Without further ado:
Tory Burch. When I first saw every other girl wearing the same flats with that Knights of Templar-esque golden buckle thing on the top a couple springs ago, I just thought..”Oh boy..hope this fad fades away as the weather gets colder”. Well the flats went away but Tory didn’t. They even made boots with that damn logo on it. I don’t see the appeal. I think of it as Juicy Couture’s older sister..less crayola color, a bit more stylish, but not so much.
UGGs
For obvious reasons. They’re hideous. They look like giant Build-A-Bear shoes but for humans. I don’t care if they will keep my (unusually long and bony) toes warm, functionality is not always the be all, end all of fashion. No offense to my girls who have UGGs…but I’m sure they are very aware of my disdain towards them.

In terms of food:
SEA Thai Bistro
I’ve been there a few times (the Williamsburg location) and I was never impressed by anything beyond the decor. I don’t know why people wait 1+ hours just to get a seat here, it’s chic only in looks but otherwise it’s just another SPICE, which I actually like better, though they both have the same exact menu and are under the same restaurant group or something. SEA just tries too hard to make a scene out of itself but maybe they should focus that time and energy on their FOOD. I’ve been to a couple SPICE restaurants several times, along with similar places like CAFETASIA, KLONG, and HIGHLINE, and SEA is by far the worst out of that bunch. My food has always come out room temperature, something burnt, something too salty, something off, something just crappy. I wouldn’t hate it as much if it didn’t have so many damn fans raving about it or my friends actually suggesting this place to our out-of-towner friends. Please don’t drag my friends all the way to Wiliamsburg for that POS place, they had a long trip, how dare you!!

Well I’ve exhausted all my energy on my rant on SEA. I’m not even done yet but I just don’t feel like bitching any further about a place I don’t even like and will never step foot in again. My other beef was with 8th Avenue aka “Bot Dai Do” aka the Chinatown of Brooklyn. That place is just rude and filthy and has only gotten worse and fobbier with time. Nothing against FOBs, I mean that’s what makes this place an authentic ethnic niche but jeez, can people assimilate to the American culture any less here? The greasy food stalls, messy groceries and multi-function shops (cell phone store in the front, bubble tea in the back, anyone?) don’t need to change, but talk about pedestrian and traffic etiquette! Wait, there’s nothing to talk about, there is no etiquette here. It literally is like stepping foot into China. Shit was the exact same way in Shanghai and parts of Beijing. Pedestrians cross without looking where they’re going, sometimes they’re picking their noses, or standing in the middle of the street yelling at somebody, or texting or conversating/screaming into their trinket-adorned cell phones. Same goes for the drivers. Not me, of course. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget the sudden influx of those Chinatown/Flushing vans. Convenient yes, but boy do they make a nasty mess out of traffic on 8th avenue and the streets surrounding it. Call me snooty, but I don’t think proper etiquette is too much to ask for..it’s for everyone’s own good anyway..and not to mention it’s just damn annoying when they don’t have any. My mom hates it too, but it’s where my grandma’s church is, where she buys her groceries (they’re cheaper and fresher there she claims, but I’d rather just go to GreatWall, and where most of her physicians’ offices are.

Wow I guess I still had enough energy left to rant about 8th Avenue. I guess it was just SEA that I was tired of talking about. I don’t mean any disrespect, but no matter how much people may like some of the restaurants, bubble tea places, grocery stores, food stalls that sell fish balls and rice crepes, etc I know we all secretly lose our minds sometimes in the jungle that is 8th Avenue.

-Animal-carcass free, Day 5.

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“You look so sexy in your glasses”…

…is what my boss said to me yesterday at work. I was not flattered.

I’ve never written about my boss here, but he is an old semi-senile doctor who should be retired already. I was warned by a friend who worked for him previously that he was kind of weird and annoying but harmless. I immediately noticed how eccentric he was when I first met him and that opinion never changed as he showed just how eccentric he really is. For example, sometimes he would leave the office and shut the lights and forget that I’m still sitting there! Or, when I was planning a trip to Italy, he made me speak Italiano to him at all times. Those are just two examples out of a long mental list I have.

I first noticed he was more than just “kind of weird and annoying” maybe..oh let’s say 3-4 weeks ago. He usually does call a lot, to confirm and reconfirm the office hours but lately, he’s been calling a lot. Like, ridiculously amounts and during the day and night and he would leave voicemails for me to call him back, sounding urgent and stern. So, wanting to keep my easy-as-pie desk monkey job, I would call him back, ask him politely when I should come in, and oblige him with some chitchat and then politely say goodbye. Well, even my mother started noticing his phone calls have been unusually frequent and it not only started to annoy the shit out of me, but it creeped me out. For my birthday, he got me a gift box thing of Amaretto…not a big deal because he got me wine for Christmas..but the thing that raised an eyebrow for me was that it was something “amor” Amaretto and it had hearts all over it and shit. I don’t know if he bought it for me, or if he was just regifting something his mistress gave him (yes, he has a mistress, are you even surprised at this point?) but it doesn’t matter because it had hearts ALL OVER THE BOX and “amor” in huge cursive letters across the front so I just found that extremely..strange..I don’t even have the words to describe how I felt when I opened it. I’m just glad I did not open it in front of him.

Here is where it gets creepier…I went into work yesterday wearing my glasses, and the day started as usual. Then out of nowhere, Dr. Crazy walks into the office to give me my daily assignment and then he says “Oh, you look so sexy in you glasses, I didn’t notice when you first walked in”…well that was just fucking weird right there. He has complimented me periodically on my attire (he says I look professional and presentable) and frequently on my hair. I didn’t think it was too weird back then but then he dropped the “sexy” bomb on me and that just made my skin crawl. I told him it was just a regular pair of glasses, no big deal, and walked out the room. What was I supposed to do? I was baffled at first. I just figured he’s some crazy old looney and I should pay him no mind..but I was angry that he said that..not sure why, I guess because it grossed me out too..so I told him I had to get home. Today, he called before noon (it’s my day off) and he leaves another stern and urgent message. So, I call him back to see what the fuck he could possibly need from me on my day off and as usual, he was calling to “check up” on me and to confirm that I am coming in on Monday blah blah blah. Well that just set me off. This old bat just calls way too fucking much and is pushing his boundaries. I exploded and asked my mom if she thought it was really strange (no I did NOT tell her what he said to me, she would just drive over there and beat the shit out of him..yes my mom is badass) and she said since DAY ONE she thought his behavior was “funny” but didn’t want to seem like an overprotective parent and just let me work there..she figured if any weird stuff happened that I can stand up to it.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got and the more distracted I got. He is much, much older than me (I’m thinking 40 years older?), he is married, has kids, and he is my boss. He may not have laid a hand on me (oh if he did..I wouldn’t be a free woman right now, typing this blog) but this is a form of sexual harassment, right? Well technicalities aside, it sure made me feel uncomfortable and I cannot continue working for him..it will just be a very hostile work environment, knowing me, I will be very cold and snippy to him until I lash out at him, so to prevent that, I will just walk away. So after some deliberation, and talking it over with my mom and my friend who previously worked for him, I decided to quit. He just doesn’t know it yet, plus I have to pick up my paycheck..there is no way I am giving him my mailing address, but I don’t want to see the creeper again. Maybe I can have a (male) friend pick it up for me?

I am unemployed once again. Back to being a broke student. We’ll see how it goes. Spring needs to hurry up and get here.

Oh, by the way…HAPPY 2010!
I am now a quarter of a century years old. eek.

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“I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”

This is one interesting book that I’m reading now. Title is certainly attention-grabbing…to sum it up it’s a collection of “memoirs” if you will, written by a guy named Tucker Max about his years in law school and what not (maybe a few years before, after, I didn’t keep track)…most involve alcohol and sex. He has some crazy ass stories and a few shock and disgust me but for the most part, it’s funny, and reminds me of a few of my guy friends. The wackier ones. haha.

I don’t feel like sharing a Tucker Max-esque story of my own but for some reason I’ve been thinking about one particular incident that happened about 2-3 (I really can’t recall) years ago. Everytime I feel abandoned, betrayed, alone, disrespected, or humiliated…and oddly enough..when I catch a glimpse of a baseball game…my mind wanders back to this particular memory.

It was during the rocky period of me and Albert’s already fucked up relationship. It was the beginning of the semester, the weather was nice, and the Mets were playing @ Shea…we were also in great need of together time so he decided to take me to the game. All was going well (not really, the Mets were losing to the Marlins..I think? whatever) until my friend Alan texts me, asking if I wanted to join his little dinner get together courtesy of his AMEX rewards…I made a mention to Albert and for some reason he goes ballistic. I don’t remember what he said verbatim but it went along the lines of him accusing me of frequently meeting up with guys, giving me his disapproving “you’re such a whore” look while choking out some sarcastic fake chuckles. I told him that he KNEW Alan was just a friend, in fact it didn’t even matter that I was a girl and Alan was a guy, that’s how platonic the friendship was but alas, the asshole didn’t give up his controlling asshole stance. It made me so freakin mad yet I kept my composure and we stayed silent. It was nearing the end of the game and it was obvious that the Mets lost already, so being fed up with the tension, I got up and left to prevent myself from starting a fight right then and there. I walked to the parking lot where his car was and waited for him there.

You know what he does next? He unlocks his side only and gets in and speeds off. It all happened so fast I can barely remember punching the side of his car. I do remember standing in front of it and him still gassing it and tons of people witnessing the entire scene. I was beyond mortified. He called me and said I deserved it since I left him stranded (stranded?? wtf? you were in SHEA FUCKING STADIUM WITH THOUSANDS OF OTHER PEOPLE! AND YOU HAVE A CAR!) he was leaving me stranded. What kind of man leaves his girl alone in a parking lot? In that neighborhood (have you ever been to the old Shea at night? not pretty nor very safe)! I call him in tears, screaming, raging mad but also devastated that he would do such a thing to me. On top of that, my stuff was at his house and as much as I wanted to just call a cab service back to my off-campus house at the time..I was really concerned over what he would’ve done to my belongings. Then..I did the worst thing ever..I got on the 7 train, rode to Flushing and met him @ Main Street. If Present Me could talk to Shea Stadium Incident Me…I would’ve just smacked her across the face for being such a spineless, pathetic, shell of a girl. We made up, but only because he felt like he “won” (which essentially, he did by the looks of it).

I know if I was how I am now..his car would’ve been wrecked and I would’ve not given a shit about my stuff being @ his house and I sure as hell would not have met up with him in Flushing (without some kind of weapon to hurt him with anyway). I’m not sure if I told anyone this story..I would be surprised if I did because it’s just so humiliating and painful. I’m not even sure why I thought of it just now but I think something triggered it. I have the feeling that I’m being lied to and soon to be betrayed. Well..don’t I sound paranoid? All paranoia aside, I’m glad I finally got to talk/write/type about it. I thought I got over it, but you know what, I don’t think I ever really did..shit like that will stay with me forever and in some ways, I’m OK with that…it completely changed me.

Actually, Tucker Max did inspire this post somewhat..he’s a self-proclaimed asshole with total disregard to the law, social etiquette, and women. Reminds you of somebody?

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